Travel Writing Workshop

I attended a travel writing workshop held at the Indian YMCA in central London last Saturday. The workshop was an all day affair organised and carried out by Peter Carty, a successful journalist and editor. Peter has almost twenty years of experience in the sphere of journalism. He contributes to many well-known publications, including The Guardian, The Independent and Conde Nast Traveller.

I have very little experience in travel writing. I entered The Guardian travel writing competition in December 2011. A friend sent me a link to the competition, and as a keen writer who had recently returned from a four month trip to India, Borneo and South East Asia, I figured why not give it a go? I didn't get anywhere with it, but I enjoyed writing the piece about the Keralan Backwaters in South India (posted previously).  When I saw this workshop advertised I thought it would be a good thing to do before quitting my job and heading off to South America...If I can write an article or two out of it, I'm all for that!

                                    iStockPhoto

The workshop cost £115, and I felt that it was worth it. Peter shared his wealth of knowledge willingly, and set us tasks to hone in on and practice our travel writing. Following the workshop we all received an extensive set of notes. Peter also informed us that we could e-mail him drafts of potential travel features for an unlimited period of time and he would provide feedback. This was an appealing bonus.

Looking over my competition entry after the workshop, I spotted many errors that I didn't pick up on before. As Peter explained to us, travel writing is a craft. You don't have to be a literary genius to do it successfully, you just need to know how to market a piece towards a particular publication and tick the boxes that come with the form. Above all, the feature must be captivating to read.

Much of the work in creating a travel piece should actually be done before the writing commences. It is important to scope out the publication you intend to pitch your piece to, as well as research the destination and perhaps come up with an angle for your piece before visiting/ whilst at your destination.

Peter gave us many technical and stylistic pointers to aid our writing and in the afternoon we learned how to pitch our features to a commissioning editor, what travel publications we should submit to, and rates of payment.

All in all I came away from the workshop well informed and excited at the prospect of getting a travel feature published (fingers crossed). Excitement aside, I also felt that Peter gave us a realistic view into the world we were dipping a toe into. When we read out our ideas/ short pieces during exercises Peter set us, he often said 'not sure about that' or 'ok, that's fine', without sounding overly enthusiastic about too many of them. Realistically, in writing, this is how it is. There are so many wannabe writer's out there, that average ain't gonna cut it. This is a craft that needs to be practiced, revised and agonised over a little if you want to be any good.

The satisfaction when a piece is finished should be the motivation to keep you working through it.

For further info please visit the website for Peter Carty's travel writing workshop here: http://www.travelwritingworkshop.co.uk/

John Cleese on Creativity

John Cleese's 1991 lecture for Video Arts on the nature and process of creativity is well worth 36 minutes and 10 seconds of your time.

Here is why...

Light bulb jokes aside (watch and you will know what I'm on about), Cleese expresses some enlightening views on the process.
He opens his talk with a disclaimer for the audience:
'I can state categorically that what I have to tell you tonight about how you can all become more creative is a complete waste of time.'

Why is Cleese going to waffle on if it's a waste of time? Because, he continues, creativity simply 'cannot be explained.' I agree with him here. The definition of creativity is as follows:
'the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc' 
Essentially the very fact that I just looked up 'creativity' in the dictionary proves Cleeses' point; trying to pin it down is ridiculous.

 

The process entails making something that does not yet exist from what does exist before us. It is the development or rearrangement of an idea. It is the unexplained, the force outside knowing and science and all that can be pinned down and labeled by humans. It is a willingness and openness to connect with the unknown elements and play with them; enter them fully and try not to be afraid or conscious of the time or pressure for a decisive outcome.

Cleese agrees with American psychologist Donald Mackinnon's analysis that creativity is not a talent or an inherent skill, but 'a way of operating'. It has nothing to do with IQ, or the sort of person you are.It merely depends on an individual getting themselves into a certain 'mood'. Mackinnon believed that this mood was strongly based around a state of 'playfulness'. Creativity involves play for the sake of enjoyment, rather than merely a practical need to solve a problem.

Cleese reckons there are five factors that must be met in the transition from the everyday 'closed' state many of us inhabit in the workplace etc, to the 'open' state where we are exposed to the unknown and free to make new connections and play. I have summarised the five factors Cleese speaks about below:

1. Space - a quiet space where you will be undisturbed and cut off from the pressures and demands of everyday life.
2. Time - we must decide on a time that we will inhabit our quiet, sealed-off space so that we can indulge in play, which is entirely separate from everyday life.
3. Time - not a typo, time is important again here in a different sense. Time was utilised above to create a period for play. Now it forms an important factor during play. The longer we are prepared to spend on a creative idea, the better it is destined to become. The discomfort of staying in this 'open' mode with no decisive sealed off answer rewards us with a greater outcome at the end.
4. Confidence - the fear of 'making a mistake' will stifle creativity. In the 'open' mode, it is essential to stop censoring ourselves. Play requires the confidence to be open to anything; to realise that any 'drivel may lead to the break-through'. 
5. Humour - This is a key factor to playfulness. If we are too 'solemn', play will be stifled. Cleese emphasises the difference between 'solemn' and 'serious'. He attributes solemnity to ego and pomposity. We may on the other hand, consider a 'serious' problem or issue, but we should not be afraid of humour in such situations. It relaxes us and frees us into play.

After listening to John Cleese speak, I am more positive than ever about the merits of creativity. What better way to spend ones time than playing and making something new? The process has the ability to refresh us entirely and knit together the reality of the everyday and the magic of the unknown.

Talking in two tongues

What are the advantages of speaking more than one language?

As Brits, we are bloody lucky to have English as our first language. We can wander around much of the world, tucked into patriotic Union Jack swimming shorts, slurping on cans of warm Stella, showing off our British Bulldog tattoos, and ordering 'egg and chips' in English at a cafe.

Pardon the stereotype, Brits don't always act this way. However, we have earned ourselves a 'Brits-Abroad' reputation in many countries, that I'm not convinced we can be proud of.  It is safe to say, language-wise, we can often afford to be lazy on holiday. Nearly everyone, everywhere, speaks a little English. If they don't, they are often keen to learn. Being lazy with language can lead to being lazy with culture. Some of us create 'Little Britain' abroad, and act accordingly, forgetting to observe local customs or pay much attention to the new culture surrounding us.

British, and proud

What about kicking English to the curb and getting immersed in a new language? Apparently being able to speak two or more languages increases our brain power. Bonus!

My boyfriend and I have recently booked flights to South America. We leave in 3 months and will be traveling around the continent for 6 months. We are being rather ambitious and plan to learn Spanish...fluently.

Let me fill you in on my knowledge of the Spanish language - I sat an AS-Level at school in Spanish. I got an E (possibly for 'English and ignorant'?). I retook the exam a year later and got an N. I'm still not sure what N stands for, I didn't know there was such a grade? I'm guessing it's not good.

The only word I remember from my Spanish lessons at school is 'los zapatos'. A great word, but unless I want to have conversations in South America that consist of saying 'shoes' over and over again, in different tones of voice, I better try harder this time.

We have started taking weekly Spanish lessons with Maria, a lovely Colombian lady we found on Gumtree. She makes us tea and biscuits and we chat in Spanish and play 'juegos' (games). So far, we have had two lessons and learned the alphabet, numbers, hobbies, personal details and verb conjunctions. She's great, I actually look forward to learning Spanish now.

We are starting, very slowly, to climb one big, fat, mountain. We plan to rent an apartment in Ecuador for a month and take intensive Spanish lessons following on from our weekly visits with Maria. After this, we'll travel and hopefully yabber away in Spanish on the way. Fingers crossed!

During our first lesson, Maria threw a few questions at us in Spanish to get a feel for where we were with the language (beginners). She asked me what colour her sofa was, to which I replied 'moreno'. Very proud that the word 'brown' had sprung forth by surprise from somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I smiled, awaiting congratulation. Maria shook her head severely and told me that 'moreno' is only used to describe skin colour and I must never say that when describing objects. I had essentially called the sofa a black person. Making faux-pas like this (there have been a few) make me all the more keen to learn the language. I need to do this properly, or else I will walk around and offend every other person in South America. 

My Mother is from Finland so I have been brought up bilingual. Does this put me at an advantage in picking up another language? Well, I can roll an 'r', and somehow, 'pineapple' is the same in both Finnish and Spanish ('ananas'). Apart from this, I don't think I have much of a head start.

Learning a second language from birth is probably the easiest way. We learn everything as children, after all. What's one more language on top of the rest of the worldly knowledge we pick up? Later on, it becomes harder.

That's not to say being brought up bilingual never caused any befuddlement.

My Mum remembers me inviting friends home from primary school and forcing them to sit through Finnish episodes of the 'Moomins' that my Grandma had taped and sent over from Finland. Much to the confusion of my friends, I couldn't differentiate between the two tongues that had grown in my mouth.

My little sister perhaps mixed the two languages up the most. As a child, she spoke in seamless sentences of Finnish and English. A vibrant cocktail of language...that none of her teacher's could understand. Luckily this didn't cause too many problems and she soon learned to separate the two languages.

As a teenager, being bilingual was a drag. I was self-conscious of my 'proper, Mother's generation' Finnish when talking to my cousins in Finland. My Mum spoke to us in Finnish at home to encourage the language to blossom. We answered her, lazily, in English. I liked the pictures in Finnish comics, but reading them myself was slow-going and frustrating. Writing and spelling was tricky. When writing letters to my Grandma, I would often give up and draw pictures for her instead. I always had a defeatist habit of saying 'en osaa' - "I can't do it." My Grandma's response was to draw me some pictures in return. Her comic strip and annotations explained that she was very afraid of a language barrier building between us over the years.

Let's not go like this...

...But like this

Underneath she wrote - 'with the Finnish language that you can speak, and the English language that I can speak, we can walk through the language barrier.'

It is only now that I am older that I truly appreciate having two languages. I love the fact that I can speak to my Finnish relatives in their mother tongue and join in at family gatherings. I realise how lucky I am to be so close to my four Finnish cousins, Aunty and Uncle, having spent summers together, in a common tongue, in my Grandma's wooden summer house in the South of Finland. My Grandma has passed away, but I also feel very lucky to have felt so close to her. She was and still remains, one of my favourite people in the world.

Speaking the language of a place brings us closer to the culture. I can identify with my Finnish 'half' as part of myself; it has a location, an identity and a means of expression. I feel rooted in both the Finnish and English cultures and although sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit neatly into either, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mastering a third language?....watch this space...for now...los zapatos...el caballo...hasta la vista baby

(No, honestly, there is more to come...)

Beyond the Frame: Contemporary Cuban Art

A small exhibition of contemporary Cuban art was open in London's Mayfair district for a week at the end of April (23rd - 28th April at Gallery 27). The exhibition was then on show in Glasgow (7th - 13th May at The Lighthouse). I checked out the exhibition while it was in London and very much enjoyed the mixture of work on display. I have included some pictures of works from the exhibition - and offer an advanced warning that the quality is a bit dodgy!

A little background:

The exhibition has been organised in conjunction with the Cuba Solidarity Campaign. Photography, prints and paintings from 26 contemporary Cuban artists are on display along with works by 20 other international artists, many based in the UK. All art work is for sale throughout the two weeks.
The exhibition aims to rally support, money and publicity for the cause of the Miami Five (Also known as the Cuban Five).

Who are the Cuban Five?

Since 1959, terrorist attacks aimed at destabilising Castro's Cuba have been frequent. Over 3,000 Cubans have died in such attacks carried out by Miami-based terrorist organisations. Most notably, some might recall the 1997 hotel bombings, when several hotels in Havana were targeted in an attempt to destroy the tourist trade.

The Cuban government sent members of the Wasp Network 'La Red Avispa' to Miami in the 1990s to act as foreign agents. Gerardo Hernández, Ramón Labañino, Antonio Guerrero, Fernando González, and René González were among those sent to infiltrate anti-Castro organisations in a bid to prevent further terrorist attacks. The orgnisation was headed by the Dirección de Inteligenica (DI), a branch of Havana’s foreign intelligence service.

The five men passed on information they uncovered about planned attacks to the US government. As a result, rather than following up terrorist leads, the five were arrested by the FBI instead in 1998.
The five were subjected to, what many view as an unfair trial. Pleas made to move the trial from Miami, where there was 'a toxic anti-Cuban atmosphere' were ignored. The five men were sentenced to Miami prison terms in 2001, between the length of 15 years and double life.

Gustavo Díaz Sosa

The Trial, by Joseph K. (2012)

Mixed media on canvas

On its first appeal, the argument of the defense was heeded, and the Court of Appeals agreed to reverse convictions against the five, on the basis that the trial was carried out in a prejudiced environment. However, the Court of Appeals then went on to change its mind and reinstate the convictions. Click here for a more detailed rundown of the case, and here for more information on the campaign to free The Cuban Five.

René González was released in October 2011, after serving the shortest sentence of the five. However, he is restricted to remain on probation in Florida for an additional three years before he can return home. The US government refuses to issue his wife a visa so that she can visit him. In a recent development and after much deliberation, the US government has allowed González to travel back to Cuba for two weeks to visit his severely ill brother (he flew back to the island on 30th March 2012).

Back to the exhibition...

The title of the exhibition 'Beyond the Frame' is extended as a theme in some of the art on display. The title suggests movement beyond the typical role of a frame as 'a boundary or restraint'. It also pays homage to the Cuban Five who were in some ways 'framed' by the US government.

 kennardphillipps

Photo Op (2005)

Photomontage

kennardphillipps toys with boundaries by collapsing different frames of reference to create sensational and shocking images. Here, Tony Blair is pictured, supposedly taking a camera-phone photo of himself in front of a burning oilfield. kennardphillipps presents sovereign power as 'an obscene presence' by putting its figures into the same frame as violent occupation (in this case the war in Iraq).

Luis Enrique Camejo

Sin título/ Untitled (2007)

Oil on canvas

Much of the work on display speaks volumes about Cuban culture, and simultaneously reveals a preoccupation with the questions surrounding the cultural identity of the island. The art shows hints of Spanish, African and American styles and directions.

Eduardo Roca Salazar (Choco)

Ginguindo (2012)

Lithograph

Salazar's prints are distinctly Carribean in style.

 Liudmila Ivella Velasco and Nelson Ramírez de Arellano

Desayuno sobre la Habana (Foto 1 de 5 Absoluto Revolución, 2006) / Breakfast in Havana (1/5 from Absolute Revolution series, 2006)

Photograph

This photo is taken from a series of photographs that explore how Cubans see the world through the image of the Revolution.

Many of the pieces on display are strongly nationalistic. Cuba’s fight for autochthony can be traced back to the island’s political struggle for independence throughout history, and the quashing of its native roots from the beginning of the island’s existence. The Cuban Indian failed to surpass the infracultural level, which meant that no indigenous cultural images survived. From the very beginning then, Cuba was forced to borrow cultural forms and modes of expression from elsewhere. It relied heavily on European modes in the early twentieth century, and of course, mainly, Spanish ones.

Iwan Bala

Cario Cewri Gweigion (Los Gigantes) (2007)

Mixed media, charcoal, chalk, emulsion, ink and collage on handmade Indian Khadi paper

Bala's piece is based on the Spanish parades of los Gigantes, where people are strapped to huge carnivalesque figures that are carried through the streets. Bala also intends the picture to comment on 'political figures, or monarchs, who are a heavy burden that the population have to carry on their shoulders'.

Cuba’s lack of independence in the past, has created the continuous imposition of other cultures upon the island; whether it be as part of the Spanish New World Empire, or Cuba’s shifting dependence upon the superpowers of the US and USSR, Cuba has never been free of transnational influence.

Juan Roberto Diago Durruthy

Día / Day (2011)

Mixed media

Wiliam Hernández Silva

Paisaje infinito/ Endless landscape

Acrylic on canvas

In 'Día', the minimalist face with two eyes and no mouth stares blankly at us. Tension and dischord are evident in the identity, where the face is split into two with twine rope.

In 'Paisaje infinito', Silva paints a beautiful woman tugging at a cloth covered in trees. There are allusions to the physical geography of Cuba as an island surrounded, and controlled in some sense, by the sea surrounding it. The woman depicted could also be seen to personify the transnational influences that have tugged at Cuba throughout its history.

Derek Boshier

Situation in Cuba (Bay of Pigs) (2011)

Watercolour

Boshier's painting portrays the unsuccessful American Bay of Pigs invasion in April 1961. This inversion shows 'the Cuban flag being eaten away by the stars and stripes: the integrity of the small island nation threatened by the might of its foreign neighbour.' (Marco Livingstone, curator and art
historian).

Roberto Salas Merino

Premier Día / First Day (1961)

Black and white photograph

Merino's photograph was taken in Havana in January 1961. It captures the first day of the embargo; the first time that America broke off relations with Cuba. The US embassy is in the background of the shot. The photo is very famous as it captures the starting point of problematic relations between Cuba and the US, which as yet remain unresolved.

Vicente Rodríguez Bonachea

Sin título/ Untitled (2010)

Acrylic on canvas

Bonachea's painting depicts José Martí (1853-95), Cuba's most revered national hero and freedom fighter (he is the old-skool, 'original' Che Guevara, to put it in crude terms) . Martí was a poet, writer, political theorist and leader of the movement for independence from Spain. He also fought against the threat of US expansion in Cuba. Bonachea explains that Martí 'fills every corner of the Cuban soul, thought and behaviour...[he] has been with us since childhood'. The José Martí tower is also seen in the background of Velasco and Arellano's photograph (further up this article), and in one of Guerrero's dove paintings (bottom of article).

Javier Guerra Fernández

San título/ Untitled

Mixed media on cardboard

Cuba faced economical and political problems after gaining independence from Spain in 1902. Even now, as an independent socialist state and with improved US relations under Obama, Cuba remains cut off from America, and influenced hugely by its other superpower neighbour, the USSR.

Geographically, the island is cut off too, giving Cuban culture a strong insular sense of its own. Cuba is a small, but strong country, that has always fought tooth and nail for its independence and developed a strong national identity as a result.

Cuban Artist, Ibrahim Miranda, (not included in this exhibition), describes the Cuban sense of identity as follows:

 "Our insular condition has been a decisive factor in our culture, influencing our myths, fantasies and our national psyche. The sensation of being isolated, separated from everyone, floating in the middle of the sea, has been a strong stimulus to the imagination of Cuban artists."

Manuel Mendive Hoyas

Sin título/ Untitled (2011)
Oil on canvas

The Cuban Revolution signified a turning point in Cuban Art. Art grew and many more art schools were established. Initially there was a sense of restriction for many artists who did not want to produce pro-Castro art sponsored by the State. Many artists went into exile and continued to produce work. It wasn't really until the 1980s that Cuban art sought a new sense of freedom. The new generation started to exercise a new mode of free expression, and one that broke away from external influences.

Two of the Cuban Five, Gerardo Hernández and Antonio Guerrero, have work on show at the exhibition too, although they are still behind bars after 13 years.

Gerardo Hernández draws satirical cartoons, some of those included in the exhibition are below:

The cartoons illustrate the international media portrayal of Cuba and the double standards imminent in US immigration policy.

Hernández creates art as a means of self-expression and liberation beyond his physical imprisonment. He draws cartoons in this style because "someone once said that 'humour liberates' [...and if nobody said that, I will say it now...] and for me it is something that 'gets us out' for at least a few moments from behind the walls where we have been unjustly imprisoned for almost 13 years".

Antonio Guerrero's art works include a painting of his mother, another of Havana as he remembers his city, and a collection of paintings of doves in flight. These pictures encapsulate Guerrero's sense that imprisonment has not destroyed his freedom.

Of his art, Guerrero says: "The long imprisonment hasn't been able to destroy any of the principles on which we were formed. The long imprisonment has been defeated by love and by art."

'Beyond the Frame' exhibited a wide range of contemporary art work from Cuba and around the world. It was refreshing to walk around a small gallery and see such a mixture of work pulled together; most artists showcased only one piece. Although themes were not exclusive, many pieces were representations of liberty, war and Cuban culture.

I am not sure of the sales stats at the end of this exhibiton, but if the little red 'sold' stickers I witnessed under many works three days into opening were anything to go by, I think a large sum will have been raised for the cause. If nothing else, this exhibition was a wonderful celebration of Cuban art and will have brought publicity to the plight of both the artists, and the fight for liberation of the Cuban Five.

A bit of black comedy/ horror

My Mum exudes extreme prowess in the art of food shopping. She always comes back from the supermarket with bagfuls of reduced food items. She knows the best time of the week to go and where to bag the bargains. She does also buy full priced food, she's not entirely tight, but there is something satisfying about grabbing an item with a red label and a price slash on it.You feel smug, even if you're buying something that you would never dream of buying normally and it's not even that cheap.

I have recently realised I am starting to follow in her footsteps. Since moving out of home, I am cottoning on to the tricks of the trade. When I do my weekly food shop I head straight for the reduced aisle first to check out what's there. And let's not pretend it's not aggressive around there. The little section of shelving is prone to be surrounded, hands grabbing from all directions. And there's always one stern man or woman stood directly in front of it, refusing to shuffle or move up for others.

I wrote the following little story as an ode to the reduced aisle. It is silly, I had fun writing it. I have used women only - not to be sexist, it's just that I was going for a 'Desperate Housewives/ Death Becomes Her' sort of thing.

Supermarket Rage

Karena jammed the wheels up against the back of the woman’s leather boots.

“Oh gosh, sorry, this trolley’s a bit dodgy,” she beamed in mock apology.

The biker chick turned her head and scowled. Her feet remained firmly planted, she didn’t swivel or inch to the left. Stupid bitch. She had a packet of Black Farmer sausages in her hand. Karena scanned the shelves for another. She eased up the sleeves of her mauve cardigan in anticipation. Her lips were painted perfect ochre, and her nails varnished in ‘midnight delight’; the darkest shade of red. She took pride in her appearance, and always made time for a monthly manicure. The other woman was dressed in skinny black jeans and a purple knit jumper. She wore a leather jacket with silver studs on it.

Karena leaned in to where the booted girl was standing. “Shove up Buttercup, I’ve got my rights just as much as the next girl.” Karena raised an eyebrow and curled a lip at her.

Biker chick stared at Karena, sausages still clenched in her left hand. It was a cold, hard stare. Karena recognised the narrowing of her eyes and the unflinching mouth. This look was not exclusive to humans. It was an instinctive glare practiced across the animal kingdom. Karena had seen it employed by a penguin on ‘Planet Earth’ last night. Her home was being threatened by another penguin, who was trying to steal all of the stones she had collected to build her home. Biker chick used it on Karena now. The two of them stood, eyeballing one another in the Sainsbury's reduced goods aisle. The scene had echoes of a John Wayne stand-off.

A moment of silence charged with rage ensued. Who was going to give in first? Karena tightened her grip on the orange trolley handle. The other woman placed the sausages in her basket and held the basket in front of her like a shield. Karena was better equipped and they both knew it. Biker chick took a side step to the left, and broke Karena’s gaze to return to her foraging of the reduced goods. It was a tiny step, but it was a victory for now. The power was back in Karena’s hands. She parked her trolley close to her right hip to block any attackers coming in from the dairy aisle next door.  She turned her full attention to the shelves and started scanning the reduced items.

Why was there always a pie of some sort? It was chicken and mushroom today. It made Karena sad to think that the British no longer stuck to their pie-eating roots. However, she made no attempt to pick up the pie herself – far too fattening. Perhaps that was why nobody else wanted it either. Everyone was on some kind of diet these days.

Oh excellent, an organic lamb joint; £4.55, down from £12– bargain! Karena jabbed a quick left hook out to grab it. Biker bitch was surprisingly fast. She had a reflex or two on her, Karena would give her that much. She laid her hand over the lamb as Karena’s painted talon tapped the plastic of the packaging. By rule of shop, that would bequeath official ownership of the lamb shoulder to biker chick, should she choose to take it. Karena saw a tight smile spread across her lips. She was well aware of the rules. She picked up the lamb and studied it. “Hmmm...”, biker chick seemed to take great pleasure in drumming a pensive finger on her chin as she pondered whether she needed it or not. Of course she didn’t. She hadn’t even considered it until she knew Karena wanted it. She probably didn’t even eat lamb.

“This will taste wonderful with a rosemary and juniper berry jus, don’t you think?” Biker chick widened her eyes at Karena, feigning innocence and waiting for a response.

“Well…I’m not actually a big fan of the juniper berry. I have cooked with it before of course, last season. I’ve grown out of the juniper berry phase. I prefer to cook lamb smothered in garlic and cracked black pepper imported from Cambodia, personally.” Karena turned her nose up and continued surveying the shelves. She was pretty sure she managed to look nonchalant.

Biker bitch plonked the lamb into her basket. Karena seethed with rage. She tried to shake the lost lamb joint from her mind and focus on the task at hand. She picked up a ‘Sloppy Giuseppe’ pizza. It was reduced to £1.50. She placed it in her trolley. She could see it all now; Biker chick crouched on the ground guzzling on the lamb joint, tearing chunks out of it like a savage. Stopping every now and then, she bore her teeth aggressively, juniper juice dripping from her lips like blood.

There was an organic lump of goat’s cheese and a pack of two rump steaks. Karena honed in on them like a sniper, picking out her target. She put them in her trolley. Biker girl was looking at a bag of onion bhajis from the delhi counter. They were breaking even now, Karena thought, surveying the items in her trolley like a proud cat. She pulled a tub of 'Taste the Difference' mushroom soup from the top shelf to inspect it more closely. As she reached for the soup, she revealed the jackpot. There was a large Gü bitter chocolate cheesecake that would be perfect for the dinner party she was hosting tonight. Biker girl gasped at the sight of it.

Both women grabbed for the cheesecake at the same time. This was it; the final round. They pulled at the cheesecake like it was a thick rope in a primary school tug of war. The packaging began to tear on Karena’s side. She groped for the trolley handle at her side with one hand and swivelled it to face biker chick. She used her full force to ram it towards her. Biker chick kicked up her left boot to protect herself from the trolley. She stumbled at the impact but did not let go of the cheesecake. The trolley fell on its side in the middle of the aisle, narrowly escaping an elderly woman with tinted glasses and a floral scarf tied around her head.  The old woman shrieked, dropping her basket full of tinned prunes to the floor. She hobbled off to announce the fight to a security guard.

Biker chick clung to the cheesecake with her left hand and freed her right to grab a turkey leg from the reduced basket next to her. She raised the leg above her head like a baseball bat and swung it with all her might. The turkey leg clubbed Karena around the left temple. Now a turkey leg, if you’ve ever encountered one, is a sturdy weapon. It is about ten times the size of a chicken leg with a thick bone running all the way through it. Biker chick was in for a homerun. Karena’s head snapped at the neck and fell off. It bounced on the shelf trimming and rolled into the reduced basket on the bottom shelf. ‘Ha, just where she belongs’, muttered biker chick, congratulating herself on such a perfect conclusion.

Karena’s body stood motionless in the shopping aisle, her painted talons fell limply to her sides. Blood gushed violently from her neck in spurts of crimson that clashed with her cardigan. The blood pooled at her feet and on patches of the white stone floor. Biker chick took a step back and admired the scene like it was a piece of art. The white shop floor looked like a large scale gourmet plate, sprinkled neatly with juniper berry jus. Biker chick picked up the smashed cheesecake from the floor and placed it in her basket. She pulled a tissue from her pocket and used it to mop up some of the blood that had pooled on the cake and was beginning to curdle. A dusting of icing sugar would sort out the damage, she thought.

Biker chick waltzed off towards the check-out, bending over by Karena’s fallen trolley to retrieve the organic goat’s cheese. She had exciting dinner plans and she better get going with the cooking she thought, consulting her watch.

Where do all the odd socks go?

Worn socks.
Bottom of the laundry basket, scrunched up inbetween layers of bedsheets and clothes. A stripey green and blue one falls to the grey landing carpet as I shake out Paula's green tank top.

Like a pass the parcel, a hidden gem reveals itself in every layer that's unwrapped.
Only they smell, so less exciting than a pass the parcel. More like a booby prize, or a lame adult version of the game. Far less fun than winning the balloon animal kit or a bag of haribo.

No, Mum's job is to harvest worn socks from every furthest dusty corner of the house. I feel like a fisherman out at sea, casting my net as far and wide as possible and reeling it in, hoping I've got them all.

Rolled into a sweaty ball in Jonny's room, that's the most treacherous part of the sea. I often pinch my nose in anticipation as I tiptoe into his room, afraid of what I might find.
The worst is finding just one.
Then I have to plunge an arm under the dusty bed, fumbling blindly for the partner to this decrepid white Umbro sea urchin. Aha, gotcha! But no, it's another single, lonely sock, a black one. I always find myself wandering where all the odd socks go?

We have a battered Waitrose Bag for Life circa 2003, full of odd socks. Washed and fit to be worn. The heels are all strong and not a hole in sight. Some of them have been in that bag for years!
Matches do show up though so I hesitate to throw any away. It's like a Lonely Hearts for odd socks. The socks send out adverts and wait for their perfect match, their complementary sock. Sometimes if one of us is out of clean socks, we'll consult the bag as a last resort. A quick bit of speed dating and we're pulling together an odd pair. They never get on that well. I had a green and white polkadot number once and one of Paula's pink socks with a panda on it.

What is Stephen Harper Reading?

Yann Martel is up there among my favourite writers of all time. He was born in 1963 in Spain, of French-Canadian parents. He now lives in Canada. He has written the following books, all of them great reads in my opinion. His most notable is Life of Pi, which won him the Man Booker Prize in 2002.

The Facts Behind The Helsinki Roccamatios - 1993

Four short stories that contemplate themes such as grief, the extremities of war, death and illness. Sound like a bundle of joy? Well, it's actually a beautiful and touching book, and not as heavy as it sounds!

Self - 1996

An autobiography that dwells on the nature of identity. The blurb on the back cover of the book asks: 'What is fiction? What is autobiography? What is man? What is woman? What is violence? What is happiness?' A whole host of questions. Postmodern and fantastical, Martel explores the boundaries of identity by transcending them. He morphs seamlessly between a male and female body and writes in different languages, to gain a fluid sense of identity that is not confined to one culture or gender. 

Life of Pi - 2002

The book that won him the prize. A surreal tale of a 16-year-old-boy’s 227-day adventure bobbing along the Pacific ocean in a life raft, accompanied by a spotted hyena, a zebra with a broken leg, a female orangutan and a 450lb Royal Bengal Tiger. A spirited meditation on philosophy, religion and life. I can see why he won.

 

Beatrice and Virgil -  2010

An author named Henry is attempting to follow up a successful novel with a book about The Holocaust (clearly an autobiographical nod here). The book is to be accompanied by an essay about The Holocaust. The publisher is doubtful and claims it will never sell. Henry then receives a script for a play from an old taxidermist (also called Henry). The play places a howler monkey and a donkey in the aftermath of an unnamed crisis. It deals with their attempt to come to terms with life on earth following the crisis. This book is an ambitious attempt to transcribe The Holocaust into fiction, and explore how life can continue in the aftermath of such traumatic events.

So...what's the Prime Minister of Canada got to do with all of this?

On 28th March 2007, Martel was snubbed at a Canadian State Arts event, where he was representing the Canadian Arts Council, along with 49 other Canadian artists, writers, dancers and musicians. He noted that the Canadian Prime Minister looked far too busy shuffling papers about other matters to raise an eyebrow to the art world. Art and politics don't mix, many would say.

Martel wasn't happy. If the conservative government was going to cut arts funding (which they had), he wanted to speak out about it. He decided to do so by undertaking an unusual project. On 16th April 2007 Martel posted a copy of Leo Tolstoy's The Death of Ivan Ilych to Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada. He included a letter expressing the merits of the book. For the next couple of years, Martel and other Canadian writer's who jumped aboard the project, posted a book and a letter to the Prime Minister once a fortnight. The idea was to send books that would inspire moments of 'stillness'  in the Prime Minister.

Excerpt from Martel's first letter:
"I know you’re very busy, Mr. Harper. We’re all busy. Meditating monks in their cells are busy. That’s adult life, filled to the ceiling with things that need doing. (It seems only children and the elderly aren’t plagued by lack of time—and notice how they enjoy their books, how their lives fill their eyes.) But every person has a space next to where they sleep, whether a patch of pavement or a fine bedside table. In that space, at night, a book can glow. And in those moments of docile wakefulness, when we begin to let go of the day, then is the perfect time to pick up a book and be someone else, somewhere else, for a few minutes, a few pages, before we fall asleep."

Martel received very little for his efforts - a couple of letters of acknowledgment here and there, mostly from the Prime Minister's staff. On 28th February 2011, Martel sent book number 101 and made it his last.

It may be a project that was clearly set to be ignored from the onset. The Prime Minister probably is too busy to read letters and books from Yann Martel. But I think that is the point, and one that Martel persevered in making for a good few years. As an artist, he probably also had the end product in mind all along. He has compiled the first 55 letters into book format. This project was aimed at the Prime Minister in concept, but clearly it is also an extensive reading list, complete with short essays of literary criticism from Martel.

One journalist, writing for The Guardian expresses her opinion on the project in an article dated Thursday 3rd February 2011: "Harper, it seems, has not been grateful.Of course he hasn't, you idiot. You are 47 years old and it appears that you have had virtually no experience of life." A little harsh, but everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Personally, I ruddy love Martel's idea. His actions express his devotion to literature and illuminate the importance of the arts. His reading list contains a wide selection of literature, including children's books, fiction, graphic novels, history, philsophy, memoir, biography, poetry and plays. Each book is carefully considered and his letters highlight their importance and a synopsis with clarity, intelligence and insight.

101 books - I hope someone read them! Even if they were sent to the dogs - at least give them to Cruella de Ville and she's got a full set of bedtime reading for the dalmations. They are probably, in all honestly, more likely to read them than Stephen Harper. 

The full list of books and letters sent to Stephen Harper, and the (few) responses received can be found on this website dedicated to the project: http://www.whatisstephenharperreading.ca/