I decided at an early age that I wanted to become a writer. Naturally, this was just after the consecutive dreams of becoming both the elusive voice drifting out of the intercom at a McDonald's drive-thru, and a famous trumpeter had been played out and exhausted on the creative stage inside my little dreamy head. We are talking roughly age nine I'd say. Yet this is a dream that, however flippant and childish it and I was at the time, has not altered much since.
So...after years of chasing the elusive tail of the magical, rainbow-scaled, monacled kimodo-dragonesque Writing Oracle who I imagined would possess all of the answers and divinely inspire me to write my first bestseller, I have decided this is silly. I have come to the conclusion that if I want to be a writer, it is probably a bit important to just write. I think that is a good meaty piece of wisdom for any wannabe writer. Simple as it sounds this is actually the hardest part of the process. Just getting on with it. Do not put it off or delay, just write as much as you can whenever you can and whatever you can.
I am sure all writers get scared of the absolute rubbish they might spout. I think writing is a process like any art. You have to do a lot of it and then sift through the crap to find the shiny pieces you want to harness that reflect what it was you were getting at or what it is that has come out if you were not getting at anything in the first place! The pen of a writer unlocks a lifelong stream of consciousness that must be edited and worked on over and over.
So yes, perhaps I have always been afraid of trying. Or, more aptly, of finding miserable failure in the ink on the page and falling flat on my pretentious writing spectacles (which I do not actually wear or possess...but pretend I do ok). I realise now (and probably always did) that you cannot fail at writing or any art. You may not succeed or gain recognition but as long as you simply keep doing it, the words are there on the page. Forever. They are in the world and you have given expression to that part of yourself in a tangible way. Good, bad or ugly. For better or for worse.
So I am starting this blog in my attempt to do just that...
Words about anything and everything and whatever. But words all the same. Because I quite like words.
That fear of trying - paralysed me in my mid-20s, so I totally know how that feels okay? You just have to start. Everyone finds their flow differently. I don't plan ahead I just start, literally with an opening sentence. The opening sentence of my novel was just taken from a soya milk carton. I kid you not. I'm going to blog about that sometime as I'd like to help other writers avoid the agonising indecision and self-crucifixion and doubt i went through, though maybe it can be character building too, because if you can go through that and come out the other side, it's also a show that writing is really where your heart lies.
ReplyDeleteI also found a book called Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande really helpful with dealing with my fears. Back then I had zero support network, just a burning desire. I was never sure I was any good as an adult even if I had been great as a kid. The key is to just do it because it makes you happy and worry about getting the big idea later. Little ideas, short stories are really cool too : )
Ooh yes I have read that book, it is great! I think my mossy writing stone is slowly beginning to undress...soon it might even start rolling. Good to hear you had the same problems, as I often scold myself for being lazy etc. It's easy to say 'I want to be a writer', but for some reason to get to the stage where you can say 'I write' seems like the most natural progression and equally, a v difficult step. Once you realise that you are not going to suddenly spurn out an amazing book and everyone is going to think it is amazing, it helps. The reality that you must practise and work over your words a million times then becomes an exciting challenge. I think I am actually going to really enjoy the editing process - playing with/ re-writing the story I have just written and improving it.
ReplyDeletePlease do write about the soya milk inspiration - I am mega intrigued! x